How
to have the last laugh.
A police motorcycle
officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.
The driver steps out
of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he
is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly
tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a
tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in
rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on
without the officer saying a thing..
When the officer
finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right
corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the
'violator' for his signature.
The bloke signs the
ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the
"AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, "That's so when we go to court,
I'll remember that you're an asshole."
Two months later
they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record and he has a heap
of points and is in danger of losing his licence, so he hired a barrister
to represent him.
On the stand the
officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross
examination the barrister for the defence asks;"Officer is this a reasonable
facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
The police officer
replies: "Yes, sir, that
is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the
top."
Barrister: "Officer, is there any
particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally
make?"
"Yes, sir, in
the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH,"
underlined."
"What does the "AH"
stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and
hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive
and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.”
"Officer, are
you sure it doesn't stand for asshole?"
“Well, sir, you know
your client better than I do.”
Every cop has his
day!
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About Honey - The Real Story
Honey is the only food (liquid) on the planet that will not spoil or rot.
It will do what some call turning to sugar.
In reality honey is always honey.
However, when left in a cool dark place for a long time
it will do what I rather call "crystallizing".
When this happens I would loosen the lid, boil some water, and let the
honey container sit in the hot water, turn off the heat and let it liquefy.
It is then as good as it ever was. 这
Never boil honey or put it in a microwave. To do so will kill the
enzymes in the honey.
CINNAMON AND HONEY
Bet the drug companies won't like this one getting around.
Facts on Honey and Cinnamon:
It is found that a mixture of honey and Cinnamon cures most diseases.
Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world.
Scientists today also accept honey as a 'Ram Ban' (very effective)
medicine for all kinds of diseases.
Honey can be used without any side effects for any kind of diseases.
Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, if taken in
the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm diabetic patients.
Weekly World News, a magazine in Canada , in its issue, dated 17 January, 1995
has given the following list of diseases that
can be cured by honey and cinnamon as researched by western
scientists:
HEART DISEASES:
Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, instead of
jelly and jam,
and eat it regularly for breakfast.
It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from
heart attack.
Also, those who have already had an attack, if they do this process
daily, they are kept miles away from the next attack.
Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and
strengthens the heart beat.
In America and Canada , various nursing homes have treated patients
successfully and have found that as you age, the arteries and veins
lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon revitalize
the arteries and veins.
ARTHRITIS
Arthritis patients may take daily, morning and night, one cup of hot
water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon
powder.
If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured.
In a recent research conducted at the Copenhagen University , it was
found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of
one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon cinnamon powder before
breakfast, they found that within a week, out of the 200 people so
treated, practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain, and
within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move
around because of arthritis started walking without pain.
BLADDER INFECTIONS:
Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in
a glass of lukewarm water and drink it.
It destroys the germs in the bladder.
CHOLESTEROL:
Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of
Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol
patient, were found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by
10 percent within two hours as mentioned for arthritic patients, if
taken three times a day, any chronic cholesterol is cured.
According to information received in the said Journal, pure honey
taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.
COLDS:
Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one
tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for
three days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and clear
the sinuses.
UPSET STOMACH:
Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears
stomach ulcers from the root.
GAS:
According to the studies done in India and Japan , it is
revealed that if Honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is
relieved of gas.
IMMUNE SYSTEM:
Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens
the immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks.
Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large
amounts.
Constant use of Honey strengthens the
white blood corpuscles to fight bacterial and viral diseases.
INDIGESTION:
Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey
taken before food relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.
INFLUENZA:
A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a
natural ' Ingredient' which kills the influenza germs and saves the
patient from flu.
LONGEVITY:
Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken
regularly, arrests the ravages of old age.
Take four spoons of honey, one spoon of
cinnamon powder, and three cups of water and boil to make like tea.
Drink 1/4 cup, three to four times a day.
It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age.
Life spans also increase and even a
100 year old, starts performing the chores of a 20-year-old.
PIMPLES
Three tablespoons of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste.
Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it next
morning with warm water. If done daily for two weeks, it removes
pimples from the root.
SKIN INFECTIONS:
Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts
on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin infections.
WEIGHT LOSS:
Daily in the morning one half hour before breakfast on
an empty stomach, and at night before sleeping, drink honey and
cinnamon powder boiled in one cup of water. If taken regularly, it
reduces the weight of even the most obese person.
Also, drinking this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to
accumulate in the
body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.
CANCER:
Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced
cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully.
Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one
tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month
three times a day.
FATIGUE:
Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey
is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body.
Senior citizens, who take honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts,
are more alert and flexible.
Dr. Milton, who has done research, says
that a half tablespoon of honey taken in a glass of water and
sprinkled with cinnamon powder, taken daily after brushing and in the
afternoon at about 3:00 P.M. when the vitality of the body starts to
decrease, increases the vitality of the body within a week.
BAD BREATH:
People of South America , first thing in the morning,
gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot
water, so their breath stays fresh throughout the day.
HEARING LOSS:
Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder,
taken in equal parts restores hearing.
BOTH faces fight simultaneously for my attention.
If
you see a side face, you are using your left brain to think
and
u r good with logical thinking.
- If you see a front face, you use
your right brain thinking and you are good at artistic creations.
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