The 38th Installation Of Apex Club Of Penang , 12th July 2008

National President of Apex Malaysia installing Andrew Ong, 38th President Of Apex Club Of Penang.

Lifer Yeow from Apex Club of Taiping.
National President Thava receiving souvenier from Lifer Lim



President 2008/2009 Lifer Andrew Ong
Vice president Balan Menon
IPP Lifer Lim Chin Chye
Secretary Mike Ong
Treasurer Jane Chan
Service Director Victor Corbett
Bursary Director Angie Low
Social Director Anthony Kumar
Membership Jason Ang
Dinner Notice Edward Mai
Sargent At Arms Lifer Tony Ng

Apex Penang in the limelight- News reported on the front page in Northern metro, the Star

Dinner Notice 828, 23rd July 2008 , May Garden restaurant, Penang Road, penang.

APEX CLUB PENANG

CLUB NO.8

DINNER NOTICE NO. 828

WEDNESDAY, 23rd July 2008

VENUE: MAY GARDEN RESTAURANT, PENANG

TIME: FELLOWSHIP 7.30 PM, DINNER MEETING 8.00PM

CHAIRMAN : LIFER Andrew Ong

FINE MASTER : Mike Ong

APOLOGIES TO BE SENT TO LIFER Andrew Ong 012-4880234, Mike Ong 012-4710862

MINUTES OF 827^TH MEETING OF APEX CLUB OF PENANG,HELD

ON 02/07/08, 8PM AT MAY GARDEN RESTAURANT, PENANG

Attendance: President Lim Chin Chai, Lifer Andrew Ong, Lifer Tony Ng, Jane Chan, Mike Ong, Victor Corbett, Edward Mai, Balan Menon, Anthony Jayakumar, & Angie Low. Apologies: Jason Ang & Ai Choo. On Leave: Terrie Loo

1.0 Confirmation of minutes

1.1 The 826^th Meeting Minutes was proposed for adoption by Tony Ng &

seconded by Edward.

2.0 Service Report

2.1 Charis Home: Mike Ong said the repaired portion of wall will be painted soon

before YB Phee Boon Poh officiate the hand over at 1 pm on 15/7/08.

2.2 Apexian Edward reported that LiferLim, Lifer Andrew & himself will sponsor

the lunch for the inmates at the Home at 11.30am

3.0 Promoting Apex to Colleges

3.1 Lifer Andrew advised to give The Principal of Kolej PTPL, Mrs KK Wong

some more time to decide before we follow up on the matter.

4.0 National Convention (01/08/08 – 03/08/08)

4.1 President Lim, Tony, Terrie, Mike, Edward, Jane, Anthony, Victor & family

will attend. Those yet to register were advised to liaise with Sathiaseelan asap.

5.0 38^th Installation Night for Apex Penang/ AGM Matters

5.1 Chairperson, Victor, reported that 40 Apexians and guests responded. Members

were delighted to know that Lifer Yeow of Taiping Club would likely attend.

5.2 Mike Ong reported that NP Apexian Thava hoped that SP Club will have their

installation jointly with Penang Club. However, SP Club had yet to reply.

5.3 Mike Ong said YB Phee BP can’t make it as G.O.H as he had another function.

5.4 President Lim will re-instate the “Apexian of the Year Award”. He informed

that Lifer Tony, Edward & himself will form a panel to select the person.

5.5 President Lim said that Terrie hopes to complete the accounts by end of July.

6.0 Joint Installation Nights of KL/PJ/BSP/Shah Alam on 5/7/08

6.1 President Lim, Edward & Mike Ong will be attending the function.

7.0 National Convention of S’pore from 24^th to 27^th July 2008

7.1 President Lim, Edward, Mike & Anthony had booked tickets to attend.

8.0 Installation Nights of Malacca Central, Damansara & Klang

8.1 The Installation Night of Malacca had been postponed indefinitely.

8.2 Klang Club & Damansara Club will have their installations on 31/7/08.

9.0 2^nd Meeting on Charity Food Carnival from 29 – 30 November 2008

9.1 Lifer Andrew & Mike Ong will attend meeting on 4/7/08

9.2 It was agreed that the profits be used for Apex Pg’s Education Fund.

10.0 Merdeka Run on 23/8/08

10.1 Members agreed to participate in the campaign, as mooted by KL Club, and

agreed to pay the participation fee of RM600/=.

11.0 General

11.1 Fines collected: RM16/= apportioned RM10/=to Travel Fund, RM6/= to Fines.

Meeting adjourned at 9. 45pm, proposed by Balan and seconded by Jane Chan.

Minutes Proposed by: …………………. Seconded by:……………….

Prepared by: Mike Ong

This Should Make You SMILE............
Knowing your job.....

A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a Rupee
coin. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and gasping for breath. The dad
realizes the boy has swallowed the coin and starts panicking, shouting for
help.

A well dressed, serious looking woman is sitting at a Tea stall in the
market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of Tea.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her Tea cup down , neatly
folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and
makes her way, unhurried, across the market. Reaching the boy, the woman
carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze, gently at
first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses
violently and coughs up the coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free
hand. Releasing the boy, she hands the coin to the father and walks back to
the Tea stall without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the
father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, 'I've never
seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a
doctor?'

No,' the woman replied, 'I work for the Income Tax Dept.

Dinner Notice 827, 2nd July 2008, May Garden Restaurant, Penang Road.

CLUB NO.8

DINNER NOTICE NO. 827

WEDNESDAY, 2nd July 2008

VENUE: MAY GARDEN RESTAURANT, PENANG

TIME: FELLOWSHIP 7.30 PM, DINNER MEETING 8.00PM

CHAIRMAN : Lifer Tony Ng

FINE MASTER : Lifer Lim Chin Chye

APOLOGIES TO BE SENT TO LIFER LIM AT 012-5726581 , Lifer Tony 012-4857481

MINUTES OF 826^TH MEETING OF APEX CLUB OF PENANG,HELD

ON 18/06/08, 8PM AT MAY GARDEN RESTAURANT, PENANG

Attenndance: President Lim Chin Chai, Lifer Tony Ng, Jane Chan, Mike Ong,

Victor Corbett, Edward Mai, Jason Ang, Balan Menon, Angie Low

& Andrew Ong. On Leave: Terrie Loo

1.0 Amendment & the Confirmation of minutes

1.1 Arvind and Angie Low’s names were included as they were at the meeting.

1.2 The RM18/- collection was apportioned RM10/= for Travel Fund & RM8/= for

Fines Ac/s.

1.3 The 825^th Meeting Minutes was then proposed for adoption by Edward Mai &

seconded by Balan Menon.

2.0 Service Report

2.1 Charis Home: Mike Ong said the holes in the wall had been repaired F.O.C.

3.0 Promoting Apex to Colleges

3.1 Mike Ong reported that he had sent a letter to The Principal of Kolej PTPL,

Mrs KK Wong for feedback on discussion at her office on 24^th March 2008.

4.0 National Convention (01/08/08 – 03/08/08)

4.1 President Lim Chin Chai, Tony, Terrie, Mike,Edward, Jane, Anthony, Victor

and family will be attending.

5.0 38^th Installation Night for Apex Penang/ AGM Matters

5.1 Organising Chairman, Victor, reported that he had sent invitations to NB &

outstation members. Venue is Penang Chinese Swimming Club, VIP Room. Cost

per pax is RM33/=. Dress Code: Long sleeves or batik. Outstation members are

encouraged to stay at Sri Pantai Motel which is close to event venue.

5.2 Mike Ong said he had sent an invitation to YB Phee Boon Poh as our G.O.H.

5.3 President Lim will check with Terrie when the accounts will be ready.

6.0 Joint Installation Nights of KL/PJ/Klang/Shah Alam on 5/7/08

6.1 President Lim, Edward & Mike Ong will be attending the function.

7.0 National Convention of S’pore from 24^th to 27^th July 2008

7.1 President Lim, Edward, Mike & Anthony had agreed to attend, Angie Low &

Jane are considering going too.

8.0 Installation Night of Malacca Central on 19/7/08

8.1 Members are encouraged to attend.

9.0 General

9.1 Fines collected: RM17/= apportioned RM10/=to Travel Fund, RM7/= to Fines.

9.2 Change the Club’s logo at pavilion in Youth Park with Sign-Mart’s assistance.

9.3 Members wishes the club longest..serving Apexian Victor R. Corbett " Happy birthday and more drinking days ahead" . Celebration continue at Summer Wine !!!!

Meeting adjourned at 9. 45pm, proposed by Balan and seconded by Andrew Ong

Minutes adopted, Proposed by: …………………. Seconded by:……………….

Prepared by: Mike Ong

The Value of a Drink

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered..
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver ."


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.


"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy

Dinner Notice 826th ,18th June 2008. May Garden Restaurant ,Penang Road.

CLUB NO 8

DINNER NOTICE NO. 826

WEDNESDAY, 18thJune 2008

VENUE: MAY GARDEN RESTAURANT, PENANG

TIME: FELLOWSHIP 7.30 PM, DINNER MEETING 8.00PM

CHAIRMAN : Mike Ong

FINE MASTER : Tony Ng

APOLOGIES TO BE SENT TO LIFER LIM AT 012-5726581 / Tony Ng 012-4857481

MINUTES OF 825^TH MEETING OF APEX CLUB OF PENANG,HELD

ON 4/06/08, 8PM AT MAY GARDEN RESTAURANT, PENANG

Attenndance: President Lim Chin Chai, Lifer Tony Ng, Terrie Loo, Jane Chan,

Victor Corbett, Edward Mai, Jason Ang, Balan Menon, Anthony

Jayakumar & Andrew Ong

Guests: Stuart Ong ( email: stuartongst@pd.jaring.my) & Grace Edwards

Apologies: Mike Ong & Ai Choo

1.0 President’s opening speech

1.1 President Lifer Lim welcomed guests, Stuart Ong & Grace Edwards to the

meeting.

2.0 Confirmation of minutes

2.1 Minutes of 824th meeting proposed to be adopted by Edward Mai & seconded

by Victor Corbett.

3.0 Service Director Report

3.1 Charis Home: Mike Ong will ask contractor to patch the hole and cracks in the

walls.

4.0 Apex to Colleges

4.1 More efforts to be put into promoting Apex to Colleges in the future.

5.0 National Convention (01/08/08 – 03/08/08)

5.1 President Lim Chin Chai will arrange accommodation for members.

For twin sharing Thursday RM 130.00/pernight

For twin sharing Weekends (Fri & Sat) RM 200.00/per night

For 2 room apartments RM 320.00/per night

Those attending the convention are Lim Chin Chai,Tony,Terrie, Mike, Edward,

Jane, Anthony, Victor and family.

6.0 General

6.1 Phillipines National Convention: Members are delighted that Penang Club is

finally twinned with Club of San Pablo. A framed certificate is now with Mike

Ong.

6.2 Singapore National Convention: Members who intend to go for convention are

to contact Edward to help book tickets.

6.3 Fines collected: RM18/= split equally between Fines A/c & Travel Fund.

Meeting adjourned at 9. 45pm, proposed by Angie Low and seconded by Edward
Mai

Bringing you the smile on your face.......

Difference between Guts & Balls

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed
below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

(Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both
ultimately result in a near death experience. )

FOUND !!!!!! Collector item 27years ago !!!!! Apex Australia in Penang

Bought This Postcard From A Stamp Exhibition In Penang On The 12th June 2008. Bought it for RM 1.20
First Day Of Issue was on 6th April 1981 ( 27years ago )

Dinner Notice 825, 4th June 2008, May Garden Restaurant, Penang

CLUB NO.8

DINNER NOTICE NO. 825

WEDNESDAY, 4 June 2008

VENUE: MAY GARDEN RESTAURANT, PENANG

TIME: FELLOWSHIP 7.30 PM, DINNER MEETING 8.00PM

CHAIRMAN : Jane Chan

FINE MASTER : Balan

APOLOGIES TO BE SENT TO LIFER LIM AT 012-5726581/ Lifer Tony Ng at 012-4857481

MINUTES OF 824^th MEETING OF APEX CLUB OF PENANG, HELD ON 21/05/08, 8.00 PM AT MAY GARDEN RESTAURANT, PENANG.

Attendance: President Lim Chin Chai, Lifer Tony Ng, Terrie Loo, Jane Chan, Victor

Corbett, IPP Edward Mai, Jason Ang, Balan Menon, Anthony Jayakumar

Ai Choo and NRM John Richards

Guest: Kathy Richards

Apologies : Lifer Andrew Ong,

1.0 Confirmation of minutes:

1.1 Minutes of last meeting was proposed to be adopted by Lifer Tony Ng and seconded

Victor Corbett

2.0 Service Director Report

2.1 Caris Home: As there is not just a hole but also a crackline along the wall, it was

suggested by Edward that the contractor has to re-do the job.

3.0 Apex to Colleges

3.1 According to Edward, inorder to gain interest of the younger generation, the club

have to change with times, as it is IT Age. We can have meetings at places like

Starbucks. Things like video conferencing can be practiced.

4.0 National Convention

4.1 President Lim Chin Chai will arrange accommodations for members.

For twin sharing Thursday RM130.00

For twin sharing Friday RM200.00

For 2 room apartments RM320.00

Those attending the convention are Lim Chin Chai, Tony,Terrie, Mike, Edward, Jane,

Anthony,Victor and family.

5.0 General

5.1 Phillipines Convention: Whilst Edward was attending the Apex Phillipines

Convention, a certifate of twinning was presented to him.

5.2 Treasurer brought up that AGM should always be carried out only after the closing

of accounts.

5.3 Singapore Convention: Edward has provided some information on Air Asia ticket

Charges. RM130 return. Members who intend to attend liase with him.

6.0 Fines Collected: RM31.00/RM33

Meeting adjourned at 9.45pm, proposed by Tony Ng and seconded by Edward Mai

Minutes adopted Proposed by: …………….. Seconded by: ……………

Prepared by: Jane Chan

JUST FOR LAUGH !!!!!!!!!AH..EH....

1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it
was dead.

"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
innocently.

"You did WHAT?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it
didn't move"



2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?"



3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and
out and keep slamming the door until St.. Peter says, 'For Heaven's
sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"



4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking
her son into bed.

She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his
voice, "Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.

"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:

"The big sissy."



5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
children's sermon.

All the children were invited to come forward.

One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
down, the minister leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter Dress?"

The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on
microphone, "Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron."



6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old
came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.


She said, "Mummy, you are getting fat!"

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy."


"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your bum?"



7. A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.. Three
plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mum."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that
son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them
was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
Little to her class.

She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the
farmer.

She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said,
"The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that
farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit!
A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.



9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter."

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."


The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter?"

She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."



10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the
boys?"

Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too
rough."

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can
find a smooth one, can I play with him?"



11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.

She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating a snack cake.

The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your
muffin."

She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."